Thursday, May 11, 2006

Proper propaganda

The new "Fast Talk Nation" anti-Eric Schlosser propaganda site is mind-bogglingly bad.

Its main attraction, a myth-vs-fact page, grasps at more straws than a teenager with headgear:The lead "myth" is a Schlosser quote from Fast Food Nation where he says "In some cases... the fast food industry has been a catalyst and a symptom of larger economic trends. In other cases ... fast food has played a more central role."

Are you feeling a desire to browse away from this right now and go check your email? That's because the quote is boring and inoffensive.

Ready for Schlosser to be blown out of the water? Here's the big reveal:

  • "In 1991 Arby's Became The First Fast Food Restaurant To Introduce... Three Sandwiches And Four Salads, All Less Than 300 Calories And 94% Fat Free..."
  • "Wendy’s Led The Industry With A Salad Bar In 1979, And Continues To Offer Healthy Options."
So fast food restaurants serve some stuff that won't kill you. By the way, we also serve water, which is not only not bad for you, but has been proven to be healthy! Also, um... catalyst!

But the best part is the response to Schlosser's innocuous call for "a single food safety agency, higher standards for food safety", unions, etc.:

"Schlosser Wants to Regulate Fast Food, But Not Marijuana!" Or rather, he wants both to be regulated and not advertised aggressively. Anyway, fuck 'im!

I feel called to offer my services to them as an experienced propagandist on principle. Really, don't they know there's an army of young conservative college students who can write better stuff than this while they sleep through the women's studies courses they're taking in order to write a damning memoir?

(No, I'm not jealous of any of my former schoolmates' current success.)

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