Tuesday, February 07, 2006

"People to Know"

When I used to do help desk support in the C-------- University computer labs, there were several students (at least, we were pretty sure they were students--they were usually older than the average grad student) who became famous among the help desk staff for their strange requests and frequent crises.

Here's a (redacted) copy of the file we used to pass around, to help detect and avoid these people. (A "ui" is a help desk nerd.) We called the file "peopletoknow.txt", which has led me to open it frequently over the years, whenever I forget what it is, excited by the name.

***************************************************************************
loginName---|---RealName---|---Alias----------|--- Offense
***************************************************************************
curly haired guy -they're so many...
j--- J--- H----- -he lives in Butler Hall
-calls uis retarded
-GS wannabe CS kid
-he eats at starbucks
___________________________________________________________________________
p--- P------ "p------" -loud phone calls
-trying to steal library
books
-hit on jenny and cherith
for pages
____________________________________________________________________________
??? annoying lady
please word perfect lady -we always "change"
identify!! wordperfect 5.0 and she
cant understand how to use it
____________________________________________________________________________
a---- A---- W--- cs 1001 Lady --always needs help w/
C-------- everything
--recently graduated to cs 1007
--needs everything NOW
grey hair,
glasses which she
_always_ takes off
___________________________________________________________________________

m------ m------ the crazy --likes fritz
stalker lady --had a nervous breakdown
in mudd
--thinks we are her
friends
____________________________________________________________________________
o--- O--- G------- -uses hp someone else
is logged into
-complains when ui
wouldn't print her
ilbegotten paper
___________________________________________________________________________

???? -the black java
lady with big
thick glasses -just really annoying
-always carrying a plastic bag
usually duane reade

___________________________________________________________________________

feel free to add to and expand
Anonymous janine on Tue Feb 07, 02:31:00 PM:
i kindda think the word perfect lady is one of my two boss ladies
 
Blogger Ben on Tue Feb 07, 07:38:00 PM:
It's too bad cs 1001 lady isn't your boss. *She* was a piece of work.
 
Anonymous Katy on Tue Feb 07, 09:57:00 PM:
"Had a nervous breakdown in Mudd" is such a Columbia problem to have.